Bang My Head Upon The Fault Line

I swear, I will post something, you know, meaningful, tomorrow. Maybe I’ll tell the story of the most uncomfortable high school health class ever…

A fresh message in my inbox:

New comment on your post #196 "The eternal question."
Author : brad (IP: 75.23.71.212 , adsl-75-23-71-212.dsl.peoril.sbcglobal.net)
E-mail : bdix@monm.edu
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Comment:
update, bitch!

Yes, fine, I’ve been terribly negligent. It’s just that I’ve been terribly busy with…things. I can’t say really tell you much, but…four words: training for hog wrasslin’. Illinois State Fair, here I comes!

(O.K., fine, I’ve actually just been working like a dog and drinking a lot. Oh, whiskey…)

Anyway, I should be back to full-speed-ahead posting starting tomorrow. But, to appease by 3 remaining loyal readers, I present this link:

The Milk Challenge.

Why, why, why do this? And why post images like:

What a pussy. I could totally drink a gallon of milk in under an hour. Assuming it was skim milk.

Now, whole milk…that’s a different story.

An e-mail I received from my mom last night:

The Tony Awards are on tonight. I heard they are called the “Gay Super Bowl”. That’s just mean.

I think I’m going to arrange for her to go on a standup tour.

Boxers or briefs? The greatest question of our time is pondered on Slate. Their answer: boxer briefs.

My answer to this question: anything but tighty-whities. I think roughly 0.1% of men actually look good in those things. And those 0.1% have already been snatched up by the underwear advertisers.

Sorry for the lack of posts. Work started up again this week, and I’ve had a whole load of other things to take care of. Anyway, two horrible things:

1. The Other Family. Obscene captions for wholesome Family Circus cartoons. Most of pretty obvious sexual jokes, but some are pure genius.

2. I am in love with Sarah Silverman.

Yes, I know, 6/6/06, it’s stupid. Whatever. Everybody knows the world will end in 2012. But it’s still fun to play around with the date.

Anyway, I’ve created a playlist of violent and depressing songs to celebrate the day. Given my music library, wasn’t that difficult. I’ve put it up here as a PDF, because iTunes outputs a nice prettified playlist when you hit print.

If you notice, it starts off with a whole lot of Perfect Circle. That’s because I was inspired by this video:

Well that’s fun.

I mean, not as great disturbing as some of Tool’s videos, but still, nice.

1. If you couldn’t get to my site yesterday, blame the hax0rz. My hosting service suffered a nasty denial-of-service attack. Damn script kiddies.

2. I am in Trivoli this weekend, so if you need to contact me, well, good luck.

3. I know several people that are reading this are using the spiffy new Intel-based Macs. I’d like to direct you to a piece of software called Parallels, which allows you to run Windows on your Mac. Yeah, yeah, I realize Boot Camp allows you to do that, but Parallels is more convenient, in my opinion.

Parallels is virtualization software. In quick and dirty terms, it’s a program that allows one operating system to run on top of another operating system by tricking the “guest” operating system into thinking it’s running on the host hardware. This is not emulation; the guest operating system is running on its native hardware, just with some glue in between to allow you to run more than one OS at the same time. The long and short of it: you can run Windows in a window in Mac OS X with almost no speed penalty. No rebooting. No partitioning your hard drive. You open Parallels, and Windows runs happily inside Mac OS X.

This is hella handy. Need to access a site that will only work with Internet Explorer for Windows? No need to reboot, just fire up Parallels. Somebody sends you an MS Publisher file that you need to suck some text out of? Just have it running in a window in Mac OS X. Now, it’s not perfect. Hardware-accelerated 3D isn’t implemented, so no Half-Life 2. And you can’t burn DVDs in Windows, so get used to using Toast on Mac OS X instead of Nero on Windows.

Anyway, I bring all this up because Parallels just raised the price on their software. The product is still in beta right now, and you can pre-order for $40. For a while there, the final price was going to be $50. Now, though, it’s $80. So, try it out, and if you end up liking it, buy now, before the price more than doubles.

Since The Da Vinci Code did so well, they’re making a sequel.

Well, sort of. They’re trying to do a movie version of Angels and Demons. A book that involved an attempt to blow up the Vatican using an antimatter bomb.

…gah.

You know what, here’s a sequel for you: Driving Miss Daisy: Tokyo Drift. In the movie, Jessica Tandy is kidnapped by the yakuza, led by Chow Yun-Fat (who is Chinese, not Japanese, but no one in America would notice), and Morgan Freeman must travel to Japan to infiltrate the underground racing scene in an effort to win her back by collecting pink slips. Uwe Boll will direct.

That oughta do $100 million on a Memorial Day weekend, no problem.

Technorati Tags: The Da Vinci Code

I have a weakness for Macs.

I have a terrible weakness for kittens.

So, this is the most debilitating clip I’ve ever seen in my life:

really expensive cat toy on Vimeo

That’s my new happy thought. I could wake up in a hospital, paralyzed from the neck down, and I could think of that and smile.

Current Music: Rhapsody in Blue - “The Essential George Gershwin” - George Gershwin